Interest... or Obsession??

Some months ago I found a blog (which I have listed in my margin under favorite blogs) that talks about a young boy and his mom... and his autism. I don't know why, but I was drawn in to this story of a strong mother and her even stronger love for a little boy that has so much to deal with and overcome. MOM-NOS is an inspiration to me, and I don't even have a special needs child. Through that blog I have come across many other similar blogs, moms writing about thier children, lovingly and achingly telling of thier triumphs and sucesses and sharing heartwrenching tales of challenges they face with and for thier children. I have read so many I can't seem to keep them all straight, but another new favorite is Rooster Calls. This mom and her little rooster are a few years into the challenges, but have only recently gotten a diagnosis confirming autism. I think I have allowed my interest in these autism blogs to cross the line in to obession. No, I don't intend to seek out the authors of either of the mentioned blogs or any of the others I have read. I don't want to be best friends with them, but everytime that I read about autism on a blog, by a mom who handles the special brand of challenges that come along with it I can't stop until I have read the whole thing. I have to go back through the archives of the blog, back all the way to the beginning and read the whole story. I can't help it, I need to know what autism looks like...not because I think my son is Autistic, but because I need to see it, in my mind. I need to see these beautiful children, see thier struggles and success, see the mom's unflagging love and patience.

I know why I need to see this. I have a drive to work, as a Social Worker, with special needs children and adults, people just like Bud and the Rooster, and all the other little boys and girls whose parents are brave enough to let us see into thier lives. I need to see the positive so that when I get a client, who simply doesn't love thier child because they are "too difficult" I can believe that someone loves them; when I meet an Autistic adult I want to be able to know where they started, how far they have come and be able to understand that even though they may still have difficult days they are making amazing strides. I want to see the good side of this, because all we ever see in the media is the horror stories of autism. We hear that these children are unreachable and impossible to handle. We hear that they are untreatable, and that autism is a plague, stealing our children from us. I don't believe that is the case. Yes, autism makes life more challenging but I don't think that it steals children or leaves them doomed to a life that is less than someone elses. Maybe I am wrong, there may be parents of Autistic kids out there that would read this and say I don't know what I am talking about, or that I'm making light of what they deal with on a daily basis without ever having seen it first hand.

I am not making light. I understand the difficulties and challenges associated with autism. I just think that behind the flapping, disregulation, outbursts, frustration and aggression there is a child. And that child is so much more than the Autism that they are living with. I think that some people forget about the child when talking about an autistic child. They focus solely on the autism. I don't want to do that, so I read pages and pages at a time, stories of these amazing children who are bright and funny, loving and sweet, and who happen to have autism.