The joys of Parenting

Being a parent is filled with such amazing things that you never thought of before. I recently asked my husband at what point does it occur to you that smelling a childs butt is normal. It has to happen sometime when you are in the hospital giving birth, or watching your child be born (whichever side of that you might be on) becuase previous to this time you would never hold a child at eye level by the armpits and sniff delicately in the posterior region to detect the telltale odor of a poopy diaper. People that would never previously make total morons of themselves saying silly words in even sillier voices over and over again find themselves doing just that in a effort to coax a belly laugh, coo, giggle or smile out of thier child almost immediately upon the arrival of said adorable bundle of joy. Strange words become a part of your vocabulary; paci, ba-ba, toofie, and my all time favorite (courtesy of my nephew) pabis. And when did you ever think that you would sit in the floor two feet in front of your six month old child who is on thier hands and knees and coach for half and hour on how to crawl. By the way you can show a baby this particular skill, or any other for that matter, and it will have only the affect that they will coo and giggle at you so profusely that they will probably fall over, meaning that you will have to set him or her back upon all fours and begin again.

But even with all these things there are even more unexpected things, like how you never expect that watching a baby inch forward and crawl the first time would be more exciting to you than any event ever in the history of your life. Or that feeling that first little tooth would bring on tears of joy the likes of which you haven't seen since they day that your child was born. Putting away all the clothes that they have outgrown and thier baby carseat in favor of one that is bigger will inspire tears of an entirely different sort. There are things that nobody tells you about being a parent, and I think that I have figured out why. First there are no words to describe so much of what you feel and learn. Second the thrill of learning those things for yourself can never be expressed.

Life is frustrating right now. As an intern in the Social Work program at my university I am in the trenches, learning the ropes and any other work related euphimism that might apply to learning how to do a job. Unfortunately I don't feel that I am learning how to do what I want to learn how to do. The whole reason that I got into this feild is that I want to help people, to make a difference and change the world, or at least the world around me. I am bound by confidentiality and don't feel that it would be a good idea to share about this particular topic, just in case someone accidentally comes across my blog and knows me or my class. But suffice it to say that I a seriously disenchanted with my chosen field right now.

Blogging Virgin

I have to say that I have never done this before. As I sit at the computer staring at the screen my palms are clammy and I wonder what has possessed me to do this. I know that I will likely not have any readers, and those that come here will simply click past me in a technological version of the cool kids pretending that I am invisible. Even though I know all this I feel as if I must continue with my plan to start a blog. It must be my all encomapssing need to talk. Lately I have had much more to say than most people in my life have had the patience to listen to. I need a place where I am mostly anonymous to speak my feelings in a way that many people would not like to hear. I need an outlet, and this, it seems, is that outlet. Little of what I will say will be particularly interesting and most definitely not profound, but I must say it somewhere, or else I could explode with frustration and over analyzed thoughts compounding one upon another until there is no room left in my brain. I hope that I am not boring to those that happen to stumble upon my ramblings, but if I am that is the way of things sometimes and I will probably never know it anyway. So to those that choose to read please enjoy, or don't, as the spirit moves you.